REFLECTIONS FROM MY NYZC COURSE IN CONTEMPLATIVE CARE PARTNERSHIP
As I reflect on this November/December period of my studies at the New York Zen Center, it has been a deep excavation. The video blog a tells the tale of 
learning that the ego is just a gateway to the nutrient dense soil of the soul. The Buddhist Precepts lay within the many layers of living. However, as I sit within the energy of the Living Buddha is has revealed that (I will speak in the I here) that I must go through the ego to get to the healing. At this level there is recognition that even as the principles are laid out as a treasure trove of integrity, I have sinned, innocently and mindlessly. However, there is mercy. I understand that while innocently providing advice, sometime sought, other times naught I have "stolen" a person right to learn, discover and explore. This is just one example. Taking more sugar at the coffee shop than what is need in the moment is stealing as well. Small actions. Without the grace of mercy I would be doomed to the swells of muck and stagnation. Within this context I Have Sinned and thankfully there is mercy, compassion and grace. YouTube Link to I Have Sinned.
The evidence that ego is ruling is that while the above seems minute there is peace within the recognition. When my mind is engaged in "analysis paralysis" the continual spinning of worry, doubt, fear and justification the ego is fully present and doing its assigned duty. Sometimes, protectively inhibiting passageway to growth, discovery, expansion and exploration.
I have begun to imagine a life where the rigidity of commandments, rules and edicts soften. Going through the gateway of ego taught the difference between the inner voice of ego and the inner voice of my Guidance. I hadn't heard the ego so loudly in a long time. Imploring me to "Just Quit." Had I not sat a little longer I would not have merged the separation into the Golden Light of the Divine to receive Its nourishment and settle the fear.
Finally I was led to a YouTube video by John Butler, a English Spiritual Philosopher called The Jesus Prayer. It is a beautifully simple pray that allows recognition of our frailties, without judgement. As I came out of a sitting I heard, "How Have You Sinned?" It was the start of a delicious revelation. My only sin is the sin of separation from The Knowing Love. In Love, the Divine Essence, all of this stuff we live through has context.
Through this November/December period I have had the deep learnings and insight. In my personal study I will be continuing to explore the microcosms of living life with aliveness and wellness. The rooting into Soul Self is an universe steeped with nurturing. It will be a delicious treat.
The video is long, 30 minutes. I hope you will see some growth and insights that were gleaned through tears, self-observation and some pretty tough discernment. YouTube Link to I Have Sinned.
In the video I mentioned a few other videos. The links to these are here if you are inclined to explore.
The playlist for Holding the High Watch: Discourse, Discoveries, Learnings and Dialogues.
The December Sacred Soul Ignition. Keeping Love Simple
I am now offering Sacred Soul Ignitions as a service. More Information is Located Here.
The Blog Post for November: The Levels Of Compassion, A Call to Presence.
Blessings and Grace as this Holiday Season is with us.
Namaste.
Love.
Grace.
Mercedes.